Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
