The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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