Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
