i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
