whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
