So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
