i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
