PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Your cock deserves a montage
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
