BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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