I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
