I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
