i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need a burrito and a hug.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
