yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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