I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
