I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
