You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize