Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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