sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
