I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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