whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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