Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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