I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
