I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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