I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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