remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sorry about my life...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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