Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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