Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
