Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Your tits are I can't wait for
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
