More tranny stories later!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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