Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
