Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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