I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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