I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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