you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
