i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
