I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
