she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
