dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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