This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
