First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
how does that bad decision feel?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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