Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
