you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
