is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
