See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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