he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
