if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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