I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I need to align my fucking chakras
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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