Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
