So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
