At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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