New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
