I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
